The Basics

Make Quality Time

This may sound simple, but can often be forgotten about. No matter how often you see someone that you care about, it is extremely important to regularly set a side time specifically to do something that you both enjoy. Don’t take any relationship for granted, ensure that you are intentional in making time for the people around you.

Show Appreciation

It is important to show people that you care for them, this can be done in many different ways, such as, making time to hang out with someone, giving them a small gift (something meaningful, expensive isn’t always best) or simply sharing your appreciation for that person, letting them know that you are thankful for them. These small gestures can help to develop existing relationships; showing that person how much they mean to you, can strengthen this bond further.

Listen

Another simple tip, but again it is often over looked or forgotten about. People want to be listened to, this allows them to feel supported. You don’t have to give advice or guidance, but by just listening to someone, showing them that you care about what they are saying will allow them to feel loved and cared for. Make a conscience effort to listen to friends or family, not to just hear what they are saying, but to make an effort to understand what they are feeling and thinking when they are sharing with you.

Love Yourself First

Before anything else, and to allow yourself the opportunity to develop the relationships around you, you must first love YOU. If you have overpowering negatives thoughts and feelings about yourself, it can be very difficult to develop positive relationships with anyone else. You need to work on the relationship with yourself first, before working on the relationship with others. If you are struggling with overpowering negative emotions, check out the Mental Health section of the app for further support.

Sex and Consent

You don't have to have sex just because you're in a relationship, or because someone else wants to. You should wait until you feel ready.

And if you are having sex, remember that it's always your choice what you do and don't do. Just because you've done something before doesn't mean you have to do it again. And you can change your mind after something's started too. If you're in a good relationship, they'll respect you and your choice.

It doesn’t matter who the other person is, what your relationship with them is, how far you’ve gone with them or others in the past. Sometimes people don’t really understand what consent means in different situations. Here are some statements about sex and consent. Do you know if they are true or false?

Consent - True or False

Question 1:

If two people have had sex before, they don’t need to ask for consent again!

False: Just because you had sex with someone before, doesn’t mean that you have to have sex with them again. It’s always up to you if you want to have sex and consent must be sought and given every time. Even in a long-term relationship, you need to ask for consent and give consent every time you have sex. You can’t assume that someone wants to have sex at any given time – you have to ask and listen to the response.

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Question 2:

People that flirt and wear revealing clothing are ‘Asking for it’?

False: Whether or not someone is flirting, looks attractive or has laughed at the other person’s jokes is irrelevant when it comes to consent. It doesn’t matter how long you have flirted with someone, how attractive you think they are or how much you think they fancy you – someone flirting with you or looking attractive does NOT mean that they consent to have sex with you.

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Question 3:

You cannot give consent when you are high or drunk?

True: Having sex or sexual contact with someone who is too drunk or high to understand what is happening is rape as they cannot consent. It is possible to negotiate consent when you have been drinking or taking drugs – but not when you are too drunk / high to know what is happening.

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Question 4:

You can be sexually assaulted by your long term partner?

True: Sexual assault is sexual assault whether or not it is in a marriage or a relationship. A relationship or marriage is not an entitlement to have sex and everyone has the right to say no and yes to sex at all times. What the status of the relationship, rape is rape, whether or not it is within a marriage or relationship.

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Resources

Sharing Online

It’s important to stop and think before you send or upload. Once something is sent, it can be very difficult to get it back. Watch this short video below for information and support around sharing videos or images online. Contact CEOP at https://www.ceop.police.uk/safety-centre/ if you are concerned about something you have seen, or how someone is communication with you online.

The Mix - Is my relationship healthy?

If you are questioning whether your relationship is healthy, why not check out this interactive tool which provides lots of key info?*

https://www.themix.org.uk/apps-and-tools/is-my-relationship-healthy

*Streetbeat isn't affiliated with The Mix but we just think it is a useful tool for healthy relationships!

Red Flags

There are lots of warning signs of an unhealthy relationship, if you want to find out more just check out this video by best selling Young Adult author Holly Bourne!*

*Again, we're not connected to this site or the author but we just want to share something you could find helpful!